“It is so sweet that you care.
Thank you for trying to help me.”
Those are the words I want to say;
Trapped in my throat before they reach you,
They sputter and fall
In the air between us,
Heavy with regret.
Although my gratitude remains unspoken
I hope you know what I want to say,
Because I am thankful to you.
Everyday I have new reasons to be.
Yet how can I expect you to know,
As if you can read all my thoughts
In my eyes or on my lips?
I want to tell you that
Sometimes I need to fuck up,
To see the damage I cause.
Do not bring me back
From this chasm;
I do not want you
To fall in with me.